We Can't Do Life Alone
As I see and experience life more, I am amazed how we don't talk about how we all need communities. We need friendships. Relationships that aren't heroic or deeply sacrificial. But those everyday people.
That friend you meet for a mundane lunch. That friend you catch up for some chai. That aunt who tells you to study hard. The neighbor who looks after your child when you visit the doctor. The friend who responds to your long voicemail. The one who knows the name of your first boyfriend.
The mundane people. The one who has never been written in history. But the quiet relationships that make us seen, heard, and loved. Why aren't there movies where no one tells us that evening walks with the same neighbour help us destress? No one told us that there is a deep healing that happens in communities. Deep connections with fellow humans heal us beyond one-on-one therapy.
It makes so much sense now why humans always sought communities. They hunted and raised children in groups. Because we all feel safe in groups. That's how we are built.
You cannot do life alone. Independence is an idea that is being sold to get you to buy more products. Interdependence makes you human and happy.
Over the years, I learned that lovers don't heal. The concept of one man/woman coming into your life and changing it and healing you is wrong. It's the love of many people, the support of many, that will keep you healthy, happy, and human in the long run.
I repeat. You can't do life alone. It was never built that way. It is the quiet, mundane everyday relationships that keep you thriving.
The real joy of life has always come when a group comes together to share and walk a long long road. Shared roads are the happiest and safest. And our nervous system is attuned to look for safety. Safe humans are the happiest humans.
There is a deep value in shared joy, grief, and anger. Repetition has deep value.
We can't do life alone. Complete independence is a myth.
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